No. 147 - Zim Ngqawana’s “Four Part Suite: (Opus #20) Baby Angelina” changed my life
Artist Melissa Joseph is spellbound by South African jazz
This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring weekly essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created (and illustrated) by Grace Lilly.
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• 3 min read •
Not too long ago, someone I loved introduced me to South African jazz and I immediately became a disciple. It stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t listen to anything else for months, maybe even a year. I would bring it up in conversations that had nothing to do with music, with people who didn’t ask and usually didn’t care. But I couldn’t help it. I had landed on something beautiful, and I couldn’t understand why everyone else was so blasé about it. To be honest, I still don’t.
At the top of my carefully curated playlist (the only playlist I don’t listen to on shuffle) is Zim Ngqawana’s “Four Part Suite: (Opus #20) Baby Angelina” from his album Zimology. I won’t regale you with the histories of Zim or of jazz in South Africa because I can’t, other than that he died way too young and influenced a lot of folks that came after him.
Looking back, I think what was so urgent to me about this song was how it managed to connect everything I had ever known, experienced, felt, feared, loved, or longed for. There is a sense of cosmic wonder that arises when time and space collapse in front of you like that. I thought I was too old and cynical to have those revelations anymore, but I was wrong. Within the span of a few minutes, the song moved me through meditation, joy, anticipation, sorrow, and hope. I was listening alongside my ancestors to chords that my soul already knew and my heart ached for.
It wasn’t anything I’ve experienced before or since. The song is a hymn. And, unlike the hymns of my childhood, it is free of shame. It is measured and miraculously, I trust it. That is likely why I am writing about it now. I barely trust anything these days. But this song holds a wisdom that I believe in. It feels like truth over doctrine, like eking out a form by drawing a cloud of the shape it makes, rather than by defining its contour.
I’ve been going through a blend of midlife and existential crises this year. I can’t blame it on a specific event or action, it’s more like the cumulative effect of paying attention. Also my mom died last year which, frankly, sucks. All of that to say, I’ve spent most of my daily listening hours on news and podcasts, and substantially less on music. But I know, even in this dissociated drift, I can still turn to Zim (and Abdullah Ibrahim and Kyle Shepherd…). Years after the initial spell was cast, they still soothe and heal me, grounding me in my body in a way that feels like coming home.
I will return to this music for the rest of my life. Sometimes I think about how random it was for it to arrive when it did, and how unlikely it was that someone would open an entirely new world to me, especially so late in the game. It’s possible we met only so they could share this music. And if that were true, it would be enough. ◆
About Melissa
Melissa Joseph is a New York based artist. Her work considers themes of memory, family history, and the politics of how we occupy spaces. She intentionally alludes to the labors of women as well as experiences as a second generation American and the unique juxtapositions of diasporic life. Her exhibition Heft is on view at Sim Smith in London through July 18, 2026 and her first solo exhibition at Charles Moffett Gallery, Casserole Culture, opens this September.
Instagram @melissajoseph_art
Website melissajoseph.net
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