No. 142 - A.G. Cook’s “2021” changed my life

How Juliane Pautrot learned to listen to herself

May 22, 2026

This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring weekly essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created (and illustrated) by Grace Lilly.

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• 3 min read •

When I was twenty, I would leave my apartment at 10:30 p.m. every night to take an hour-long walk around my college campus and through the surrounding neighborhood. Each night, my route would be different, but I had my favorite landmarks to walk by like the rose garden, the church, and the tennis courts where stray cats would sleep. October was the best month to take these walks, followed second by May. In October, nights were cool and damp, and the leaves were starting to turn. In May, you could feel the heat of the day radiating off the pavement and fighting with the cooler night breeze. It had to be late at night because the air was different and fewer people were out, which made me feel like I owned all the roads I was walking on.

These walks gave me a lot of time to listen to music. I credit this period of my life with defining my taste in a way that I doubt I will ever be able to escape. I think my ears are permanently tuned to this time, and it was then that I discovered “2021” by A.G. Cook. I hate to admit it, but my Spotify algorithm made the introduction. I had found a few charli xcx songs I liked on a playlist, and from there A.G. Cook, her frequent collaborator, was a logical next step.

Hearing “2021” for the first time was like being shown a photo and not being able to make any sense of what is in it. The song is short and addictive, with layered and simple lyrics, sparkling synths, and a heavy beat. I had never really listened to much electronic music before, so listening to “2021” and truly loving it felt completely new.

What surprised me the most as I listened to the song more and more is how sweet it really is. Despite the big beat and repetitive structure, it makes me feel so light. The vocals feel childish in a nostalgic way, and the melody almost feels like a nursery rhyme. My favorite part is the synths that sound like bells, and are exactly what child me imagined twinkling stars sound like.

I would listen to “2021” on my nightly walks and allow myself to see my life differently. The soft side of the song spoke to my younger self still within me. It reminded me of the sparkly Disney pop songs I would dance to in my bedroom with a fake microphone, pretending I was performing. Remembering my younger self each night brought her to the forefront of my thoughts. Suddenly, I was thinking about her and what she wanted every single day. What would younger me want to wear? What have I never done that she always wanted to do?

My nightly walks became like visits to a psychic. I would set out from my apartment thinking about a decision I needed to make or something that was bothering me, start listening to “2021,” and picture my child self dancing. It was like looking into a crystal ball of my desires, my dreams, and who I wanted to be. Job struggles, housing struggles, friendship and relationship struggles, they all made a little more sense after visiting my younger self each night.

Being twenty, for me, was awkward. I could feel that I was growing out of my child self, while at the same time feeling too young to have a clear sense of direction. But letting my younger self be a cornerstone of building my voice and path was exactly where I needed to start.

I recently stumbled upon a remix of “2021” by the artist umru. This new yet familiar version feels like a gift — a new way of listening to a song I have etched deep into my consciousness.

As the lyrics go, “Everything you do, it’s been done, done, done before. Everything you say, yeah, you said that yesterday.” I take these words to mean that everything in my life, I know the answer to, I just have to listen to myself. I find this beyond comforting. ◆