No. 004 - U2's “With or Without You” changed my life
Josh Ramos on growing up, connection, and the Gospel of The Joshua Tree
This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created by Grace Lilly, supported by readers.
• 4 min read •
I first heard “With or Without You” as a kid. It’s off the album The Joshua Tree which is my namesake. This year I visited Joshua Tree with my loved one and it was amazing to listen to it in the area it’s named for.
It’s a perfect love song. It speaks to the complications of how our lives can change after we meet someone for better or worse. It’s hard to imagine living before them and scary to imagine living a life where they aren’t part of your everyday existence.
I first heard this song on the radio. Growing up, my mother used to play Q104.3 Classic Rock or 103.5 KTU or 1.003 Z100. U2 was great enough to make all those stations. My mother also used to buy the Best Of Grammy CDs yearly, and of course U2 was a mainstay on those albums in the early 2000s.
The song reminds me of many people, from friends who have passed, to friends I’ve lost touch with, to current relationships I hold dear. I’m unsure what happens after Death, but I am of the mindset that wherever we go, we go alone. I can barely get through this existence now, with or without my friends. I’m sure the Forever After will be similar, but U2 songs are an act of belief.
“Through the storm, we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more—
And I'm waiting for you.”
As we go through the ups and down of existence, things push us that we often do not even consciously realize. It could be a memory of someone, a hidden passion, a guiding ancestor, a genetic drive. The difference between chance and fate often feels so small, but “With or Without You” makes me believe it doesn’t matter. You are dealt the cards and you simply play them until the house wins, which it always does.
There is a power to the poetry in Bono’s words and the rhythm in the Edge’s guitar. It’s a mantra. It can be repeated over and over or in the flow of the Gospel of the Joshua Tree. It’s really up to the person pressing play on the record.
I’m still a fan of U2 and am trying to plan a trip to see their residency in Vegas later this year with someone I love very much. Hopefully it can happen, as they’re getting older and I’m unsure how many chances we’ll get to see them again.
While many in my age group find U2 corny, I always enjoyed their hopeful message. They have a perfect sing-song melody, enough emotion that you feel allowed to sing back, and Bono is a good enough singer to make you believe you can match his level [writer’s note: you can’t].
I’ve been listening to U2 almost as long as I’ve been alive and I will continue to do so. As I write this I am headed to Dublin for a vacation and also for the opportunity to see the sights that inspired some of the band’s biggest songs.
U2 has a lot of amazing songs that speak to the human condition. It may be cheesy, but so is existence. The little things. Work. Love. Self-consciousness. Happiness. Depression.
Life is a trip and this song takes you on one. Whether trapped in a cell, cubicle, or airport, you’re always traveling mentally. Changing. Growing. Or withering. And whether it’s a seesaw or one direction, there is meaning in the journey. ◆
About Josh
Josh Ramos is an educator and writer. He goes one day at a time.
Instagram @joshstamos_
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Great essay. I also love U2. I once read that Bono said that his job was to "kick the dark until it bleeds daylight". I can't top that