No. 018 - Ingrid Michaelson’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” changed my life
How one song changed the course of Zoe Regan’s life over and over
🏆 A top-read essay
This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created by Grace Lilly, supported by readers.
• 5 min read •
2009
The introduction
I was first introduced to Ingrid Michaelson my freshman year of college. My work-study was in the costume studio and the shop manager played Ingrid’s album Be OK on her iPod.
To this day I have the entire album memorized and can sing along. “Can’t Help Falling in Love” isn’t an original—it’s been done by many artists many different ways—but the Ingrid Michaelson version is the one firmly cemented in my brain.
Wise men say “only fools rush in.” Oh, but I can’t help falling in love with you.
The First Holiday Hop
The first time this song changed my life
I moved to NYC right after college. As a young, single person I joined OK Cupid and started talking to this girl, A. After many months of long messages back and forth, we finally went on our first date in late summer, and then just kept going on dates.
After maybe three dates, but before we were official girlfriends, she asked if I wanted to go to Ingrid Michaelson’s annual Holiday Hop concert in December. This was September. We weren’t official.
Of course, I immediately said yes, not knowing if we’d still be dating then, but figuring that we’d be friends regardless because that’s how lesbian dating works.
Well December rolled around and we were official and getting ready to go to the Holiday Hop together. I was listening to all of Ingrid Michaelson’s catalog in anticipation. Each time “Can’t Help Falling in Love” came on, I thought about A, and how I was falling in love with her.
We hadn’t yet said “I love you”—we had only been dating for three months—but I knew I was in love. I knew that if Ingrid sang that song at the Holiday Hop, I would sing it into A’s ear and tell her I loved her. Ingrid didn’t end up singing that song, so I didn’t say anything.
About a month after that concert, A sent me flowers with a note saying “I love you” and we haven’t stopped saying it since. We’ve also been to every Holiday Hop since then.
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? I can’t help falling in love with you.
Three Holiday Hops and a few months later
The second time this song changed my life
Dating turned to moving in together, and moving in together turned into an engagement. A proposed to me first on Governor’s Island at one of our favorite summer activities-Jazz Age Lawn Party (and Grace photographed it—hi Grace!). I proposed back to her a few days later by singing “You and I,” also by Ingrid Michaelson.
We of course immediately started planning our wedding. The fun but hard thing about planning a same-sex couple wedding is that you get to do whatever you want. All of the wedding traditions are set up assuming there’s a bride and a groom, so as two brides we just did whatever we wanted!
One choice we made was to walk down two separate aisles at the same time, each escorted by our parents, while one of our friends sang “Can’t Help Falling in Love” in the style of Ingrid Michaelson.
It’s a song about falling in love for the first time, and many times after that. People say that marriage is hard work and struggle, but our marriage has been as easy as falling in love. Each day I fall more and more in love with A.
Like a river flows surely to the sea, darling so it goes–some things are meant to be.
Six Holiday Hops and a couple months later
The third time this song changed my life
Shortly after we got married, we moved to the house in Westchester where A grew up. We remodeled. We commuted to our jobs in the city. We went to a fertility clinic to grow our family.
A got pregnant thanks to IVF. March of 2020 came, and we both stayed home for the rest of A’s pregnancy and the birth of our first child. All of that miraculously fell into place, like it was meant to be.
When we decided to use one of our remaining embryos to try for a second child, I also got pregnant. After a rough pregnancy and 27 hours of labor, the call was made to have a c-section. I was exhausted and scared, but it was the safest decision.
It wasn’t yet an emergency, which meant that we had time to pick out music to play in the operating room and time for everyone to get scrubbed in and situated. The whole operating team was women, and they were thrilled with our choice to play Ingrid Michaelson. One of them said, “It feels like we’re on Grey’s Anatomy!”
I was still exhausted and shaking from the epidural drugs, so when our second child was born, they wrapped him up and gave him to A to hold while she was sitting right next to me.
He was watching everything with serious, calm eyes. And just guess what song was playing…
So take my hand, and take my whole life, too. ‘Cause I can’t help falling in love with you.
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About Zoe
Zoe Regan lives in Westchester with her wife, two kids, and a cat. She is a big fan of Broadway and also sad girl music. She works at a costume studio making custom costumes for the entertainment industry, which is a dream come true.
Instagram @maybeinvinciblez
Zoe has nothing to promote, but if anyone needs a custom costume, clothing alterations, or professional measurements, check out timberlakestudios.com
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What a lovely and romantic entry!