No. 016 - Esther Phillips' "And I Love Him" changed my life
Walking through LAX, late nights in Lisbon, and the 1965 Beatles cover that Joon Song hears everywhere he goes
This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created by Grace Lilly, supported by readers.
• 4 min read •
I was at LAX, walking through Terminal 5 and talking to my girlfriend when I heard a familiar song on the sound system. “Oh my God,” I told her, stopping in my tracks. “Guess what song is playing right now?”
Living in LA, it is easy to encounter people who hold all manner of spiritual beliefs, from those who firmly declare that all things in the universe are random to those who believe that everything happens for a reason.
I hew to the latter, if only because as a poet I am always looking for symbolism and I find that this existence is full of symbolism if we only care to look. As an aspiring novelist, I also like to believe that our lives—made anxious and mundane through the wages of capitalism—have a narrative arc more profound and beautiful than any fiction.
The first time I heard the Beatles’ “And I Love Her” was probably sometime in childhood. It is ubiquitous, though not as popular as some of the Beatles’ other hits: released as part of 1964’s A Hard Day’s Night, it eventually reached Number 12 on Billboard Hot 100.
I liked it but it did not leave a big impression on me until sometime last April, when I discovered Esther Phillips’ 1965 cover of the song which she renamed “And I Love Him.” Her version immediately floored me (and it apparently floored Paul McCartney, who named it his favorite cover of the song).
I was driving east on the 10 to Joshua Tree alone to see a friend’s art installation. My girlfriend and I were having some difficult conversations about the shape and future of our relationship.
During that two-hour drive I listened to both versions of the song on repeat: I must have listened to both songs about twenty times.
It is a simple song, and short, clocking in at only two-and-a-half minutes. But it perfectly described what I felt about my girlfriend:
And if you saw my love
You’d love her too
I love her
More importantly, it made me believe that perhaps love—and our love—could last forever:
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her
Since that trip this song has come on everywhere, from a nondescript late-night restaurant in Lisbon to multiple cafes all over the world and, most recently, just outside of the truly horrible Rock & Brews restaurant at Terminal 5 in LAX where I was talking to the woman who, three days later in a small hotel in Nolita, said yes.
The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon describes the situation when something you only recently learned about suddenly seems to appear everywhere. It is the scientific counterpoint to what some in LA might describe as kismet.
The statisticians might be right, but while it is possible to reduce everything mysterious about the human experience to rules or processes, to do so is to remove what poet Albert Goldbarth describes as, “the thump, the cupid-zing, the woe and the wow, in our songs and poems."
Hearing our song everywhere we go, I know exactly what he means. And I love her. ◆
About Joon
Joon Song is a recovering attorney who lives in Los Angeles with his fiancée. He is working on a collection of poetry and a new line of jarred tomato sauces.
Instagram @joon_balloon
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How did I not know this cover? I love it!