No. 010 - Andrew Bird's "Danse Caribe" changed my life
No. 010 - Andrew Bird's "Danse Caribe" changed my life
Big changes, Zydeco music, and the song that offered Deirdre Hynes peace
This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created by Grace Lilly, supported by readers.
• 4 min read •
A wise woman (Taylor Swift) once said that no one feels as strongly as young women at the “precarious ages of ~20-23.” And so, understandably, my lasting, emotional attachments to music are from that time.
During my sophomore year of college I had a real doozy of a semester.
Over the course of a few weeks, I got very sick, was hospitalized, and was diagnosed with a chronic illness that changed how I navigated the world AND Hurricane Sandy hit my hometown, displacing my family, destroying many childhood memories, and devastating a hometown.
A lot of big things changed in a small period of time.
Having this happen right at a time when I was starting to find my footing in ‘growing up’ and figuring out how to become who I wanted to be on my own, really threw me for a loop.
As was my default for years before, I spent every possible moment with headphones in, trying to find either connection or escape.
As I walked home one night, “Danse Caribe” came on my headphones. I’d had Break It Yourself on rotation, so I’d heard the song before. But something clicked and for the first time in weeks, I felt such an overwhelming sense of contentment and nostalgia.
Am I grinning? I asked myself. I was finally caught and moved by something. I felt untethered from the stress of life.
I wasn’t anxious, I wasn’t confused, I was just happy to be on a walk in crisp fall air, listening to music that stirred something in me. Everything else was so tense, and this was a release — if only for 5 minutes and 19 seconds.
I had been going through it all in a daze — stressed and keeping busy to avoid panicking while trying to navigate a world that suddenly felt very dissimilar to the one I knew before.
The former foundations of safety and solid ground were cracked. But I found a sense of solace in returning to music that brought me peace.
Growing up, our family get-togethers were often centered around a lively combination of Irish and Zydeco music. I feel like this song, though so different from either, had underpinnings of the music that had been so integral to my childhood and unlocked that emotion I’d been trying to avoid.
Sometimes I’ll get into a back-and-forth with people about whether we’re “music or lyrics people.” I never know which I am, and can make an argument for either, but in this case it was fully music that overwhelmed me. The lyrics detail a story about Bird as a child — a clever concept, but the emotion and feeling in the composition set me off.
It’s a great song (and album), but without the connection of time, I’d likely appreciate it for different reasons.
To this day, whenever I hear the song, I get a glimmer of that unexpected comfort I felt that night back in 2012. I hear it and feel a wave of compassion for my 19-year-old self, who couldn’t yet understand how to navigate these things except through music.
And on every playback, without fail, it’s a reminder of how even when life can make you numb, music can unexpectedly bring you back to the world (in unexpected ways). ◆
About Deirdre
Deirdre Hynes is a video producer & editor (and non-professionally, a music lover) who has been based in Queens, NY since birth.
Instagram @dhynes
Website deirdrehynes.com
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