No. 120 - Nirvana’s “Breed” changed my life
In 1999, Edward Cuozzo moved from a small town to a smaller town, finally made friends, and found his life path
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This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring weekly essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created (and illustrated) by Grace Lilly.
• 4 min read •
I remember being pretty young, maybe 13 or 14 years old. At this point in my short existence on this planet, I had no real identity. The only thing I could say about myself then, which still holds true now, is that when I get into something, I get really into it.
There was a brief period where I was obsessed with skateboarding. I was sure this was my way to the light. Alas, it was pretty short-lived. On the bright side, even now at 38 years old, I can still do an ollie and a kickflip. But sadly, the X Games never came calling. I ended up getting into martial arts for quite some time, and I was rather obsessed with that too. It consumed my every thought. However, that would all change when the stars aligned and I heard “Breed” by Nirvana for the first time.
Although I wasn’t fully engrossed in music yet, I was being drawn in by random songs I was hearing on the radio. Better Than Ezra’s “Desperately Wanting” immediately comes to mind (what a great chorus), along with a multitude of Bruce Springsteen songs my mother forced on me (maybe it seemed like a nuisance back then, but I’m forever grateful for my obligatory lessons with “The Boss”). My interest in music was slowly and subtly festering deep down inside.
In 1999, I moved from my small town of Dunmore, Pennsylvania to the smaller town of Montdale, Pennsylvania. I was in the country now, and I had no friends. Again. I had no friends in Dunmore, and I really wanted to have friends this time around. Moving felt like a second chance, so I was on a bit of a mission to find my people, and maybe even a life path of some sort. Luckily, as time went on, I ended up making some friends, and some of those friends were musicians. One of the first friends I made was Brian. He was a music fan and a drummer, and we quickly gravitated towards one another. He piqued my interest in music more deeply.
I don’t remember exactly when, but I started getting into bands like The Hives and The White Stripes, fond of their simple, unrefined sound. I loved the catchy songs and the energy these bands had, and yet again, the alarm sounded off in my brain that this was a path to consider. My interest in music was blooming. Brian and I started to “jam” after school to songs like “Main Offender” by The Hives. We were both learning how to play music together, and I was trying desperately to figure out how to play guitar and sing at the same time (something I still struggle with occasionally). Before we knew it, we had started our first band, Melded, together with our friend Big Dan. These were good times. Simple times.
Brian and I had become pretty good friends at this point. One day he invited me over to play music, but when I got there, he had LimeWire open on his computer (the old heads remember) and this video popped up of this band blazing through this really vicious sounding song. It kind of scared me in a way. Up until that moment, I had never seen a live performance like this before. While I loved The Hives and The White Stripes, and had seen some of their live performances, they were much more upbeat and light in comparison to what I was witnessing. It completely blew me away.
The video was from Nirvana’s Live At The Paramount 1991 concert, and they were ripping through this song called “Breed.” I was dumbstruck by the performance. There were these big catchy vocal melodies, really weird and mysterious lyrics, buzz saw distorted guitars feeding back left and right, and these monstrous drums pummeling away. Something had definitely awakened in me. Looking back on that moment now, I feel like my entire worldview changed in those 3 minutes and 12 seconds.
Like I said, when I get into something, I get really into it. This was no exception. I went down the rabbit hole. I listened to every album, I found every B-side (back when trying to acquire B-sides was a pretty arduous task), I learned every factoid about the writing, recording, and mixing of each album. I was obsessed. I can talk about Nirvana for hours, but what I really want to drive home is the impact hearing this song had on me.
All of a sudden, in that moment, I decided that this is what I was going to do with my life.
From that day forward, I devoted my every waking moment to learning how to write my own songs. I started bands, toured, had minor successes, failed miserably, quit, then basically repeated that process for the next 20 years. It opened a whole new world of music and counterculture to me as well. I formed all of the long-lasting and important relationships I have in my life now because I heard “Breed” that fateful day, and I still write, record, and perform music to this day because of that moment. Thanks, Nirvana. ◆
About Edward
Edward Cuozzo is a singer/songwriter based out of Scranton, Pennsylvania. He’s also the lead vocalist and songwriter for the alternative rock band University Drive.
Instagram @edcuozzo
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Categories
Friendship • Family • Coming of Age • Romance • Grief • Spirituality & Religion • Personal Development
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