No. 110 - Modest Mouse’s “Float On” changed my life
The healing power of Rock Band 2 for Shawna Pochan
This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring weekly essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created (and illustrated) by Grace Lilly.
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• 3 min read •
In 2009, I was living in Seattle and making my way through my last year of graduate school to become a certified nurse-midwife. My program was challenging. I spent a semester taking a 5 a.m. ferry once a week to a 24-hour long rotation on a naval base only to get back to the city and spend the whole next day in class. I lived in a dorm room for part of a summer in the desert heat of central Washington, mentally prepared to sprint into the hospital at any moment in the hopes of catching a birth. I gave up most forms of exercise and creative endeavors. I spent a lot of time drinking at my local pub, the Wedgewood Ale House. This was the one and only time in my life when a bartender knew my order and got it ready when he saw me walk through the door. I always ordered a hefeweizen.
My third winter in Seattle was brutal. It was dark and cold most of the time. By the spring, I was burned out in a profound way. As a change of pace, I flew to Miami for spring break to visit my sibling, Saylor (they/them), who is three years older than me. We have had our struggles over the years but they have always been a “good playmate” for me (as my mom would say). What I mean is, they know how to have fun. Also, we’re doing great now.
My sibling lived in a comfortable two-bedroom apartment right in Miami Beach with a really nice roommate. It was warm and humid when I arrived. People walked around the neighborhood in their bathing suits, speaking Spanish and looking to make plans. Away from my laptop and my books, I felt like I was on another planet. We spent our days hanging out at the beach and bopping around Miami. We met up with one of my best friends from high school for dinner. Saylor took me out clubbing at a giant queer bar in Fort Lauderdale and we didn’t get home until the sun was coming up.
But my favorite activity during that week was playing Rock Band 2 in my sibling’s living room. Saylor had the whole game setup, including the drums, and they let me play them on my favorite Rock Band song, “Float On” by Modest Mouse.
“Float On” is from Modest Mouse’s fourth album, Good News for People Who Love Bad News. The band formed in 1993 in Issaquah, Washington, a suburb of Seattle. Lead singer Isaac Brock wrote the song with an intentionally positive bent. In an interview with The A.V. Club, he said the following:
It was a completely conscious thing. I was just kind of fed up with how bad shit had been going, and how dark everything was, with bad news coming from everywhere. Our president George W. Bush is just a fucking daily dose of bad news! Then you’ve got the well-intentioned scientists telling us that everything is fucked. I just want to feel good for a day.
I am not sure I could name another song by Modest Mouse and I don’t care. “Float On” is perfect. I got to play my heart out on those drums and sing along to its monster chorus:
Alright, already, we’ll all float on
Okay, don’t worry, we’ll all float on
Even if things get heavy, we’ll all float on
The last time we played the song together that week, Saylor opened up the windows as one of those Florida afternoon thunderstorms rolled around outside. The smell of ozone and the cool breeze drifted into the living room as we got to the chorus, and for the first time in a long time, I felt back in my body, back to myself.
Things were still heavy.
But I was pretty sure I might make it. ◆
About Shawna
Shawna Pochan works in healthcare and is a lover of all things pop culture. She writes a Substack called Blood Harmony which features music playlists and musings.
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Categories
Friendship • Family • Coming of Age • Romance • Grief • Spirituality & Religion • Personal Development
Recommended
All of Modest Mouse’s catalogue brings surprise and delight. Highly recommend. Great story!