No. 057 - Lush’s “De-Luxe” changed my life
No. 057 - Lush’s “De-Luxe” changed my life
Dani Laundry levels up from Guitar Hero extraordinaire to real-life musician
This Song Changed My Life is an independent music publication featuring essays from people all around the world about the songs that mean the most to them. Created by Grace Lilly, supported by readers.
• 4 min read •
When I was 12, my older sister Stephanie would come home from college and we would play Guitar Hero together. After she’d head back to school, I’d spend a ton of free time playing on my own. Eventually the initial feeling of in-game achievement waned, and I figured my time might be better spent learning to play a real guitar.
My parents generously bought me a Squier Stratocaster and I tried to hit the ground running by looking up tabs for songs from Guitar Hero.
The problem was that there was a huge gap in my skill level and the difficulty of these songs — and I was intimidated. My parents listened to Foo Fighters, Guns N’ Roses, AC/DC. Real “Guy” rock with lots of solos and distortion, like the songs in the game. I was woefully unaware of the breadth of the rock music genre because of what I was initially exposed to and thought was the norm.
About a year later, I was playing through Rock Band 2 and stumbled upon a song I hadn’t heard before.
It was called “De-Luxe” by the band Lush.
I decided to play it with no expectations, but as soon as it started I was entranced. It didn’t sound like anything I knew. It felt like a pop song from the 60s playing on a radio inside of a dream. The guitars were dense and layered, almost elastic-sounding through all of the chorus and reverb effects. The 6/8 time signature was alien to me. It was almost too much to take the first time. I felt compelled to play the song over and over (in the game), conscripting friends and family to play it with me.
This song, and my subsequent obsession with the band, had a huge, rippling impact on my life.
The Lush songs that had tabs online were accessible in terms of my skill level and allowed me to grow as a guitarist. I was even able to learn “De-Luxe” on a real guitar, which was a huge milestone! Their music showed me that “rock” could be so many different things: thoughtful and strange and beautiful and ethereal — and that women could not only lead rock bands, they could also be the main songwriters.
Lush opened up my definition of music, shaped it into something that spoke to me, and made me feel less alone and afraid.
I started writing my own music and sharing it online, determined to start a band one day and influence others to write music too.
Lush also turned out to be an excellent starting point for developing my music taste, introducing me to other acts like Cocteau Twins, My Bloody Valentine and Kate Bush. I’d obsessively read any Lush interviews I could get a hold of and watch every video available on YouTube. I remember opening the windows to feel the cool Miami winter air while blasting songs like “Thoughtforms” and “Breeze,” basking in a little world of my own making.
I spent hours on a dedicated fan site called Light From A Dead Star, which is still around and remains a comprehensive source of information on the band. An unseen set of photos by James Lance was uploaded to the site around 2010 and I was excited as hell. It was from a show that Lush played with fellow shoegaze band Ride at SUNY Purchase in 1991. At first I was so confused by the combination of the words “SUNY Purchase” that I had to find out what it meant: Purchase College at the State University of New York.
It ended up being the college I chose to attend.
Granted, Lush wasn’t the entire reason I ended up going to Purchase (it’s an affordable alternative to private art universities!) but I will admit the association really helped. After facing intense anxiety and depression my freshman year, I decided to shelve my ambitions of becoming a professional musician and switched my focus to working in other facets of the music industry.
I was privileged enough to enter the music industry professionally, working my way up from unpaid internships to actual jobs right up until COVID hit. In quarantine I worked a high-stress job alone in my apartment for several months, and the isolation allowed me to reflect on my life overall. The harsh, sometimes toxic work environments of the music business had left me wondering if it was really worth setting aside my own creative pursuits.
I ended up leaving the industry to strive for balance — working just enough to survive while ensuring my work doesn’t encroach on my art. I never stopped writing or releasing music, but it feels so much more fulfilling now.
Lush remains a strong influence on my songwriting.
I was lucky enough to fulfill a lifelong dream of seeing the band live during their 2016 reunion, and to meet them. I have loved their music continuously and feel forever grateful that this band impacted my life in so many special ways. ◆
About Dani
Dani Laundry is an artist, designer and musician. They are currently based in Philadelphia, PA.
Instagram @danilaundry
Music danilaundry.bandcamp.com
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